Promise with a capital P

 I am a Promise” NO got that wrong- YOU are a Promise with a capital P! Nope, WE are a PROMISE!

Good Morning and God Bless

I am attempting to OBEY His Will in my life and not sure about some of the curve balls being tossed my way. First, I will tell you I began my day -before writing you- with Matthew West’s Song  “Motion” who’s lyrics motivate me every  morning. Then I read my daily devotional. The prayer for the day referred to a children’s song called “I am a promise” and I thought HOW amazing! We are ALL a promise. The devotional didn’t have all the words only the first couple of sentences, so I typed it in the search engine and POOF there it was.  We have the world at our fingertips…the internet is an amazing source of information. When I was growing up the idea of it was unimaginable. If you wanted to look something up it was off to the library to outdated material! Anyway before I get on a tangent let me get focused. I’m pretty sure that the song is so old that the copyright is expired and no one I found knew the writer…. but the WORDS … CHILDREN’S SONG? I think it’s an everybody’s song ….so I shared it with you. Now I will continue my story and share with you yesterday’s events. I that it is best to break down my writings every day into NOW AND THEN because both are so incredible …but confusing if I mix them (even to me).

I am a promise

I am a possibility

I am a promise with a capital "P"

I am a great big bundle of potentiality

And I am learnin' to hear God's voice

And I am tryin' to make the right choice

I am a promise to be anything God wants me to be.

I can go anywhere that He wants me to go

I can be anything He wants me to be

I can climb the high mountains

I can cross the wide sea

I'm a great big promise you see!

I am a promise

I am a possibility

I am a promise with a capital "P"

I am a great big bundle of potentiality

And I am learnin' to hear God's voice

And I am tryin' to make the right choice

I'm a promise to be anything God wants me to be

Anything God wants me to be!

Source(s):

http://www.preciouslordtakemyhand.com

THE NOW

Several unexpected people have popped up and shown me encouragement and support that I never expected. It’s not the need for it that is important …rather the timing and the sources. Of course I get encouraging words from believers –that is natural…but it was the several people who wrote me and told me they were not believers and wanted to help me that rocked my world. One even offered to design me a website! How awesome is that. I can have a page for almost anything…like prayer requests, links to my friends in trouble, links and stories of missionaries I support. A page for local and foreign mission trips I have the honor of experiencing. (I can’t wait to share our trip to Costa Rica!) . I’m just so excited. Of course the site will also have the ongoing life saga of FOREVER MAMA to hopefully inspire you but at the very least entertain you! It will be called Big God little me! oooooppppps new addition blog is little me BIG GOD!

As for the non-supporters…well of course…that’s the world… and you can’t stop me just like I can’t stop you from doing what you do. Since I began writing I have posted it in my notes with a link, sometimes tagging a few friends (Facebook lingo) and also sent it out as a mass mail to my JAG family. Well, I received an email requesting me not to send it through JAG any more. I was told that not everyone believed like I do. No kidding …imagine that! That’s the point. Anyway, my first response was hurt and discouragement…  because I’m human (and because I’m MAMA)  and I sent out another  mass mail saying I would not send out my writing from the group any longer but if they wanted me to tag them to my entries that they should email me. That was  almost 2AM and I obviously had trouble sleeping!  OK…then come to find out that the person who asked me to stop was asked by someone else to ask me! How foolish….delete me! It’s that easy or just don’t read my mail. If what I say bothers someone so much maybe they need to look at WHY? A million posts pass unread…why not let mine…but the TRUTH is anywhere a little candle burns someone wants to blow it out. Well, I’m not a candle and even though I won’t send out my notes to JAG anymore unless requested, I WILL tell my story. I will OBEY GOD’s leading to give the hope I found. So here are today’s writing’s on my wall and NO HUMAN can stop me. Plus it won’t be long before my dear friend has the website open and you can follow along or not. Funny how when something discourages you at first it becomes such a MOTIVATOR…but only IF YOU allow God to lead you. My “human” nature would say give up..no one wants to hear your crap, who are you anyway? BUT THE VOICE OF TRUTH (also love that song) says this isn’t about you Karin, it about ME. The LIVING GOD that changes lives. Just keep plugging on.

THE THEN

Yesterday I left off starting to tell you about my Dad. I wonder if I sparked  anyone’s interest enough to actually go look him up? I also found an awesome picture and article about him in Sports Illustrated. The third issue Dad was featured as the cover, http://sportsillustrated.cnnhtm

Wow, November 8^th, 1954. A few things I’m sure of and most I’m not. Don’t know if he knew my mom yet- a story in its self- Know he was already an alcoholic. Know he had prior failed marriages, know he was relatively famous by then in the New York Circle. Know I’m not around yet because I was born on Mother’s Day, May 11^th 1958, 4 years later.

Yes, my family was famous and I will tell stories of people I know and have met that will amaze you. But me? I amounted to nothing! Well, that is what I though all my life …actually my self-opinion was worse than nothing…but we will get to that. Today I know exactly who I am and learn more each day. The most important thing I know is that I am the child of the King, that He loves me, has a purpose for my life, and that I  don’t need or want to be any different than EXACTLY who I am! (Well, since I’m still human I sometimes still struggle with who I am and what I have done- but I KNOW HE doesn’t! I have been forgiven I just need to remember DAILY THAT HIS GRACE AND MERCY are unlimited!

Today’s entry is getting a bit long so I will only go on a bit more. My early memories are pretty blurred and I am only introducing you to my family because THEY are a HUGE part of my story. It’s funny when you look at someone’s life and what you see and the reality of what is really inside them….it is so skewed. It’s worse for people who are in the public eye because they are so exposed. Public exposure, mind you, has nothing to do with truth. It is only the perspective, viewed by your own life experiences, of how you see someone else. That’s true famous or not. I have often looked at other people and wish I was them or had their lives. What I was really doing was only seeing what I didn’t have that I thought they did. It’s so easy to pass judgment, good and bad.  Well, tomorrow I’ll share what I know of my father’s first few years with me and maybe introduce you to my mother (now that’s one you don’t want to miss!)

I love you all and hope you know that you are a PROMISE with a capital P, but it’s your choice….you can toss all your potential and gifts to the side and be as self-absorbed as you want!

MAMA FOREVER OUT

NOTE: my JAG email went out at 2am and since I write this in word I haven’t signed on yet to find out what’s in store for me today concerning my JAG group. So I’ll just say as much as I would like to pick the people whose life I would like to touch I HAVE NO POWER! Never did …that’s the deal. It’s an
    illusion- thinking WE have any power the POWER is HIS ALONE, so I will just be His hands and feet             and shut up for today!

The Beginning written 05.14.2010 8AM

"He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught." - Isaiah 50:4

Interesting, I started my day just a bit different today. Since I decided to do this I wanted to make sure, to the best of my ability, that the words I share are “inspired” and not coming from me or ego. Despite the need for affirmation, which is a normal human desire, I don’t want God’s purpose to get blurred. I subscribe to several daily devotionals and to tell the truth despite I rarely read them. Yes that sounds hypocritical. It’s because I AM a HYPOCRITE! It’s not that I want to be It that who I want to be and who I am just aren’t in sync! Most people use the excuse that they don’t believe or go to church because it is full of hypocrites! Of course! The world is FULL of hypocrites, those who both have and don’t have spiritual beliefs.  It is so easy to say anything …it’s a whole different story living. So my story is the truth, as I see it.

Anyway, I told you I wasn’t a writer so it’s easy for me to get off on tangents. I’m trying. What was different this morning? I asked God to guide me first and then read this email from Time With God….Right on target! It’s copyrighted so I will write today and ask if I can have permission to quote it on occasion but for today I’ll just include it on bottom and if you are interested the website is there to subscribe yourself…the also have a really awesome (free) spiritual gifts analysis.

Back to story at hand. I have a few trusted friends that I have been emailing concerning these journal notes and one suggested I  try and not hurry and just be who I am. I agree. I know most people have short attention spans so until I get to some of the dirt keeping your attention won’t be easy. I also BELIEVE that’s NOT MY JOB! Whoever actually IS REACHED is being called by HIM not ME so I’ll just obey.

Another quick note is that I know a lot of you may leave Facebook because of the conflict with Zynga games so I am going to transfer my notes later today to a blog and that will give you the option to subscribe to it or not although I will still post here as well. I really don’t want to “preach” I want to share. But I know it appears pushy to many so again I am just following what I believe I am lead to do.

The Beginning:

I have to say I come from a fascinating family and background.  My parents are long gone but I can only pray that they are with God. They lived the fast lane and I can’t remember any discussions on God except vague impressions that God was only for weak people who could make it in THIS WORLD. Later, I will share that I could be wrong because shame and guilt, I’m certain, grew in them faster than cancer also.

Dad first. You are also welcome to look him up because he was a very famous man in his time. Robert “Bob” Sylvester, writer and drama critic for the New York Daily News for around 40 years. He wrote several books and a few movies including the Joe Lewis Story. The title of his last book really sums up so much though….Notes of a Guilty Bystander…. He was born in 1907and passed away in the 70’s – I found out he had died on the TV news.  So much to say…and I miss him so much. Death certificate says Heart Attack …life says alcoholism.

I need to slow down here.

I had him for the first 16 years of my life and wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world. He never deliberately hurt a soul except himself but he was tortured by his addiction. I remember that well even though it is well over 35 years ago. He was never able to break the chains of his addiction and I grew up not understanding that. .  I know he tried because I remember him “on and off the wagon” as it used to be referred to,  all of my childhood. The world speaks so much of will power ---so it is easy to judge people who have obvious outward flaws and weaknesses. I believe though… if people were really honest then they would have to admit they to suffered from SOMETHING… there is an area in everyone that suffers a uncontrollable weakness! It is just easier for some people to hide. It took me forever for me to find this out for myself. I, like him, blamed myself for not being “strong” enough to overcome my many flaws and I believed I was at just BAD…. It took me until I was over 30 to find out I don’t HAVE THE POWER but God does.

More later…..  

The following in BOLD comes from Prime Time With God

reply-to                info@churchgrowth.org

to            karinsoderstrom@comcast.net

date       Fri, May 14, 2010 at 1:47 AM

subject TGIF: A Two-Way Relationships from

Today's Prayer

Dear God, I want to feel your presence in my life in a greater way. I want more of you, to draw closer to you. I want to keep my priorities straight, to have my sight focused on you and my life to revolve around you. Please help me to balance my life--my work, church, family, friends, ministry time, and devotional time with you. Please give me wisdom and strength to do what is right in all that I must do. And I thank you, God, for guiding me and blessing me in so many ways, and for working in me to do your good will. In Jesus' name I pray and praise you. Amen.

A Two-Way Relationship

TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1, by Os Hillman

"He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught." - Isaiah 50:4b

The prophet Isaiah describes his relationship to God as a relationship that has two-way communication. Have you ever felt that your communication with God was only one way - you to Him only? Isaiah tells us, "The Sovereign Lord has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary.... The Sovereign Lord has opened my ears, and I have not been rebellious; I have not drawn back" (Is. 50:4-5).

The key to Isaiah's relationship with God lies in four important principles:

1. He had an instructed tongue. Isaiah had given over rule of his life completely to God's purposes.

2. He knew the word of the Lord, which allowed him to sustain and encourage others.

3. He took time to listen.

4. He did not flee from the tough assignments. He didn't shrink back.

If we are to be able to listen to God, we must follow the same principles. Knowing and spending time studying God's Word allows the Holy Spirit to bring to mind His instructions for what He wants for us. Recently, I became very busy in my work and other activities. It wasn't long before I felt distance between God and me. I had to make a conscious decision to carve out more time alone to listen, study, and meditate on His Word. This is the lifeline for the follower of Jesus. When we begin to lose the relationship, we are susceptible to becoming rebellious, going our own way. Invest your life in this relationship so that you may continue to hear His voice and sustain the weary ones around you.

Today God Is First (TGIF) devotional message, Copyright by Os HillmanFriday, May 14, 2010

I have a story to tell. written 5.13.2010

I have a story to tell. It’s funny because my son always says he’s going to write a book but I just might beat him to it. Why? Because it is our stories-our experience-that truly has value to give hope to the hopeless. The difficult part for me is that the most valuable parts of my story are the parts that I DON’T want to share. The parts that I tried to hide, to medicate, to escape from, and to mask all my life! But I found that it is our trials and valleys, at least mine, that teach us the most about sharing hope. The wonderful parts and the mountain tops I call “bookmarks” and those I will share as well along the way.

About a month ago I was driving home from Atlanta late at night dropping a friend at work and on my trip home, about 3 hours, I spent a lot of time thinking and talking to God. Am I crazy? Absolutely – but not because I talk to God!  I was listening to a song and I’ll share some of the lyrics and praying when God TOLD me, YES, I said that, to not let my experiences go to waste….that it wasn’t MY STORY that was important …it’s HIS story that is. Mostly shame and guilt want to prevent me from telling others about myself….when in reality I am NOT UNIQUE! Millions of people have been through some of the same experiences and to take it a step further…it’s not just the experiences that are important but where they bring us and what we do with them …THAT is what is important.

I can only tell MY story…and from the start I will tell you, before you continue to read, that it is the story of how I struggled and searched …..that’s the first 45 years ….then found God.  All I can tell you is I believe that what I am going to share will work for anyone and I believe that with all my heart! (Seek and ye shall find!) If that isn’t what you are looking for …read anyway… my story is like a bad novel…full of horror, abuse, filth, and life…at it’s best and worst!

Now, why am I sharing it here on Facebook? Well THAT PART was not planned at all at least NOT BY ME! But after a year and 10,000 plus friends on 4 accounts I sure do have an audience! The night I was driving home I wrote for hours before falling to sleep but it was coming out all wrong. Then after church on Sunday I decided to stop using Mafia wars as an escape but to keep the true friends I had met along the way. I wrote a letter to all of you explain my reasons why and yesterday I got a comment on my wall saying I shouldn’t expose myself…….THANK YOU…… that’s exactly what I need to do! It said more so I’ll enclose the quote but even if one person, and only one person,  life changes because they found HOPE through what I “expose “ then it will be worth it to me.

HIS EXACT QUOTE     “PLEASE. Please do not confuse contemplation with reality. How can you know the darkness without confronting it, without contemplating the lesser choice. If you do not know why you would make the lesser choice then you have no defense against it. Quitting a simple game is sadly excused by fear. I find that I understand the darker among our brothers and sisters by role playing. If you cannot detatch yourself from mere amusement, then sure perhaps you should shy away from such games.Be warned however, this exposes a weakness in that you are unable to seperate yourself from your darker nature under such circumstances. Or perhaps that which wants you to turn off your defenses and poses to be the better, and tells you to ignore this weakness, wants you to release these defenses and allow your weakness to prevail, so that they may exploit you?”

MY RESPONSE>>>>John I don't mind being exposed...light and dark....so that I can honest about who I am. I did not leave OUT OF FEAR but courage....it was an escape...i'm just following a power bigger than you. Bless you for opinion but I am not concerned with the opinions of people who who don't have my best interests at heart.

 I had intended to write my story in journal form but now because I have the access to all of you it’s PERFECT! Don’t read on if the dark side isn’t what you want to know about…but I am sure of the fact that until I knew my dark side the LIGHT could not shine. And NO the light is not mine …it’s His! Until I was broken and fell to my knees there was no hope. I have a friend who always ends her AA story with “the WORLD TELLS you…. you made your own bed lie in it! But a GREATER ONE than that says “Pick up YOUR mat and WALK!”

That’s The beginning part 1!

I love you FOREVER MAMA…The fun part is being able to tell you at the end for  those that don’t already know, how I was Blessed with the HONORED title “forever mama” from one of my BEST FRIENDS who also has shined his light with all of you!