LIVING OUT LOUD FOR GOD last three blogs (go to archives)!

Friday, July 16, 2010

No more straws for this camel!


There is a saying that God won't put on you more than you can handle....but what about the things we bring onto ourselves? I''m fairly certain that most of the troubles and difficulties I have are connected to self made bad decisions (mostly unintentional, but not all).


Now the last of my teenagers needs help and I just am lost. I am doing all the "Mama' things, calling all the resources....but SHE HATES ME FOR IT. AT THIS POINT THEY ALL HATE ME FOR CALLING ME ON THEIR "STUFF", BUT RESPOND BY CALLING ME ON MINE....sure i still have some! lots!  I think they may come up with a new diagnostic code for me when i'm finished! Panic times 10, don't want to leave the house again, and more. There is so much going on I am not at the liberty to say out of respect for their privacy but nothing hurts more that seeing your children a mess when all they can do is blame it on you.

JESUS I LAY PROSTRATE ON THE FLOOR FOR THIS FAMILY- I CAN NOT BREAK FOR THEM OR FOR YOU.......


AND THE WEIRDEST THINGS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING...THE OTHER DAY THE FRAME ON MY BED BROKE SO ALL I COULD THINK OF WAS PROPPING IT  UP ON END TABLES AND SUCH...VERY CROOKED FIRST NIGHT HAD TO ADD PHONE BOOKS. Well night before last, I dropped my eyeglasses and reached down to get them.... problem............ALL of me went to get them .....160 plus lbs on my neck cut my shoulder and face, almost broke my neck!

I'm so clumsily it's kinda cute.

So, I haven't written since then but need your prayers and as always mine are with you.

Sometime I find it insane that God loves us through it all..... 
MAMA

Saturday, July 10, 2010

PTSD...NEW NEWS FOR VETS

Friday, July 9, 2010

TNC Blog

TNC Blog Our church Blog....Awesome....

Hurting.......

Friday, July 09, 2010
I FOUND something yesterday that broke my heart. Once again it is not fair to tell you another person’s business. This ONE almost put me over the edge because it was the last thing I ever expected and because she is my baby girl. First, I had a panic attack, then anger, got down on my knees, called the church, prayed, called the police, and shook and have not stopped since. Plus I haven’t had more than 4 hours of sleep since yesterday. I think if I had one wish from God it would be that we could make believers out of others, especially family. I know I can't and I have tried to get her back into church but the response I got was everyone at church is "fake." I tried to explain that there is a difference between being fake and being human....sure there are some that "pretend" to be Christ followers for deception but most people are just HUMAN. Trying to do better and walking the path at different paces. Of course I'm a hypocrite, I want to be all the things HE wants me to be ...but I am not. I don't pretend to be either. I do admit to giving advice to people that I don't live by myself and that is wrong....no excuse. THAT IS what GRACE is all about....we stumble but plod ahead. FORGIVEN. It's hard to grow from a spiritual baby to an obedient servant. But judging others hypocrisy is just an excuse for not looking at self. I know this because I spent YEARS doing it. Yes, we all have unfulfilled intentions, we are all sinners, we all have room for growth, but blaming others doesn't get you closer to God it pushes Him away. If I focus on others I can keep telling myself "at least I'm not that bad." I have found the only way I can mature is if I include my intimate personal relationship with Jesus (and He left us the Holy Spirit but I have much to work on there too in terms of understanding). I find it very easy to confuse what I THINK GOD wants me to do and what He's really guiding me to do. Lack of spiritual maturity or selfishness or many combined things fog my clarity but it is getting better. God knows our hearts so I feel like the mercy and grace is not limited to a quota. Just keep plodding on…. But as my best friend told me last night as I was crying and saying I was alone …he reminded me “GOD IS ALWAYS WITH YOU.” Yes, the comfort of others is needed but the relationship with God is essential! Thanks dear friend for talking to me on the phone in the middle of the night! Once again, wishing I wasn’t sharing my struggles “out loud” but know HE has a reason for it.
JUST A BROKEN ME TODAY ….I think I need some STOMP gospel to get me going…dance, and sing, and pray with me. YES I am GOING to dance to this video because GOD’s got me and you!




Photo Widgets and Slideshows - Good Widgets

Photo Widgets and Slideshows - Good Widgets awesome addition especially for mission trips, projects, and s succession of events. FREE

The Thorns He doesn't remove have a purpose.

This page is dedicated to Dr. Grant Scarborough, who’s devotion to the poor, homeless, addicted, and uninsured in the Augusta Community inspired me to making any possible resources and information available TO THE HELPING COMMUNITY AT LARGE.. I hope that more information and contributions are made and this blog is always under construction AND growing (like me!) and that others contribute by bringing their voice and opinions to “bridging the gap.”
Brief story …the beginning…6 weeks ago at my regular Dr’s. appointment he confided in me about a nameless person that he couldn’t get out of his mind. I saw his heart broken by a young crack addict who he was tempted to hunt down and admit into a rehab. I was in awe that he considered me a resource and shared the relentless mission on his heart. It dawned on me, that after 24 years in recovery, some of them as a counselor, that most people in the professional fields and pastoral roles have little understanding of addiction and even with the most sincerest of hearts their efforts can sometimes either get them into trouble: (never chase down an active crack addict) or get a high desperate woman in your car alone!) and often leave them frustrated by the circular patterns of addiction- despite help.The pastoral community, as well, sometimes fails to see that they sometimes only confirm to an addict the exact opposite of what they intended!  I have also witnessed the reverse damage, to the degree that it cost the actual lives of some, when people in recovery programs give medical advice to someone without knowing the full facts or the medical degree to access the situation.Misinformation can be deadly!
So, my first contribution will be bits and pieces of information, including dangerous Misinformation and myths,  that maybe valuable along the way if you have occasion to help someone plagued with this “thorn”. I will also include websites, rehabs, and books, that will help. The ultimate conclusion I have come to is that it takes a combination of resources, that rarely work together, for the best outcome. Again, this is just my opinion, it comes mostly from experience and pain, some from education, some from observance, and  I speak ONLY from that perspective. I hope we all can come together and “bridge the gap.”
It is my belief that there is NO FREEDOM from addiction WITHOUT GOD and even then the torment may continue (Paul’s thorn) but if you reach the mercy and grace of God, your experience can be turned into purpose, and JOY despite the trials, will be the byproduct, if your motive is to GLORIFY HIM!
Long road…...full blown crack and heroin addict to the forgiven child of the King….. 
Many problems, trials, and temptations, have the same solution although it doesn’t appear that way at the time. This website is NOT exclusively about addiction…...it about THE SOLUTION!
Addiction is just a symptom, there are many other symptoms of a damaged heart or soul.
The solution, however, is NEVER CHANGING CONSTANT GOD!  
What’s my role in this? To serve God as one of the people honored with the blessing of bridging the gap between HOPELESSNESS to HOPE! How? However he leads me!
I walk a free woman, full of imperfections, flaws, and sin, but because of our loving and merciful God, I am only viewed by him as HIS PERFECT CHILD. My forgiven sins, paid for at the ultimate expense of the blood  of Jesus Christ, are too great a sacrifice to ignore. I can barely see what HE has in store for me next!
My blog: directed more towards non believers, tells more of my own story and path, not a pretty story either, but the truth.and an ongoing journey. HOPEFULLY IT WILL be full of resources and grow in time.
With love and devotion,
God's spiritual baby girl!
Karin

Thursday, July 8, 2010

A New Day!

I just can't imagine where I would be without knowing that every day with God begins new....like a clean chalkboard. The only person who forgets it is me! I carry the weight of old baggage that God has already lifted. Why? Don't I believe Him? What about the NEW baggage I CREATE? YUP, he will lift that too... Faith, or lack of it. Foolish me such a spiritual baby. Well, I'm getting up and for today, remembering my chalk board is CLEAN! My prayer today is to draw a beautiful picture for HIM, a masterpiece of HIS love on my chalkboard!


Max Lucado Daily: God’s Salvation

Posted: 07 Jul 2010 11:01 PM PDT
“It is not our love for God; it is God’s love for us in sending his Son to be the way to take away our sins.”  I John 4:10
Please note: salvation is God-given, God-driven, God-empowered, and God-originated. The gift is not from man to God. It is from God to man . . .
Grace is created by God and given to man.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

little Karin....a bookmark...used up my 15 minutes of fame before I was one....oh well!



song little Karin, written about me as a gift for my Mom by Benny Golson preformed by Quincy Jones on his album Mode!



CREDITS
Image Flicker
Ladies Love Affair Photo by Saquan Stimpson
Tracklist
    Lesley Gore - It’s My Party02.14
    Quincy Jones - Nina03.57
    Quincy Jones - Theme for inga02.27
    Tata Vega - Miss Celie’s Blues02.29
    Peggy Lee - As Time Goes By02.49
    Sarah Vaughan - The thrill is gone02.28
    Shirley Horn - The Spell You Spin02.37
    Quincy Jones - What’s New Pussycat02.46
    Quincy Jones - Little Karin03.43 *****
    Astrud Gilberto - Who Needs Forever03.01
    Vanya Borgess - Ai No Corrida04.03
    Dinah Washington - They Didn’t Believe Me02.48
    Betty Carter - Moonlight in Vermont03.21
    Letta Mbulu - Many Rains Ago04.45
    Whole Lot Of Shakin’ Goin’ On02.57
    Come Back Charleston Blue02.06
    Liza05.32
    Tribute To Benny Carter06.27
    I’m Beginning To See The Light04.02
    Jessica’s day06.29
Videos YouTube

Foundation...looking at mine.

"Experience and preparation has [had] to be mixed with obedience" 
 Os Hillman
Praying for obedience. Please pray along with me! Scary sometimes knowing my house is built on sand (Not all of it, but too much). I grew up on Long Island and saw what happened to the beach houses after a hurricane (destroyed so bad you can't even buy insurance on natural disasters on that coastline!).
Not pretty and I know a few things looking at my God reflection in the mirror:

  •  It's NOT about ME! 
  • Self absorption and obedience don't work together. Main Entry: self–ab·sorp·tion Pronunciation: \-ˈsȯrp-shÉ™n, -ˈzȯrp-\Function: noun Date: 1835: preoccupation with oneself
  • No one can be forced into obedience (in the long run) 
  • God has no "Grandchildren"  that HURTS SOOOO MUCH!)
  •  Knowing and not applying,  even a honest look in the mirror, doen's change anything.


Worst of all... there are some things I don't want to change! I hate that! I love my Camel cigarettes, I fear tithing sometimes because I'm scared they are going to turn a utility off (lack of faith). And more.....

So, Living Out loud, is my way off trying to share building my foundation on the ROCK! I share it so that it may touch your heart and you can build with me....maybe one day you'll be out of nails and my hammer breaks and we can build together!

Love ME

Monday, July 5, 2010

So I'm not an artist! But thats my nugget!




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DAILY MERCY

FOR THOSE OF US WHO DARE TO LOOK AT THE THE REFLECTION IN THE MIRROR ! I AM THANKFUL HE CAME FOR US.




But the Pharisees and their teachers of religious law complained bitterly to Jesus’ disciples, “Why do you eat and drink with such scum?” Jesus answered them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent.”
Luke 5:30-32, NLT          



I FAIL RIGHTEOUSNESS 101 EVERYDAY ...NO DEGREE...JUST AN ONGOING EDUCATION...THAT I DON'T APPLY AS WELL AS I KNOW.

DAILY MERCY....WHERE WOULD WE BE WITH OUT IT!








Sunday, July 4, 2010

YUP THAT' WILL ALWAYS BE MY GIRL!

hhhhhhhhhMMMMM

IT'S NOT A GOODBYE- IT'S A NEW BEGINNING.
YOU WILL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE U!
FOREVER AND ALWAYS! MAMA

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I'm not who I was- In concert Spring 2010 Aiken SC

Brandon Heath FROM MY PHONE!
Always Awesome and life changing!





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FREEDOM FOR ALL? Just wondering?


FREEDOM FOR ALL?   Just wondering?Sunday, July 04, 2010
FREEDOM FOR ALL?   Just wondering?
 


Enjoy that BBQ but don't forget! Love MAMA



What would you do if you saw this man downtown?  Walk right by and look the other way? Wish we kept our homeless population further hidden from our main streets? Think he was a filthy drunk and addict (and what if he was?). What if he said he hadn't eaten would you give him money to eat or just justify to yourself that he would just spend it on drugs. Would you bring him home and let him shower? Would you put ointment on his wounds? Would you take a bottle of perfume that cost your husband a year’s salary to wash his feet.  Would you even tell him where the Salvation Army was????  Would you put him in that detailed BMW and drive him there?

Saturday, July 3, 2010

A song says so much ...i'd just ruin it with my foolish comments!

Friday, July 2, 2010

Well, My daughter going in the service and grandnugget moving to NC with his Dad so....my tears





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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Pray and flip a coin? Hmmmm not sure how I feel about this one???? Comments?


Settling Disputes
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1, by Os Hillman06-29-2010
"Casting the lot settles disputes and keeps strong opponents apart." Proverbs 18:18


We prayed about it. We discussed it. My friend had one desire; I had a different one.
"Okay, let's settle the issue the way the early Church settled matters when an agreement could not be achieved. Let's flip a coin."
"You must be joking!" my friend lamented.
"No, the early Church cast lots often to determine a course of direction or even select the disciple who would take Judas' place."
"Okay," my friend agreed.
We flipped the coin and the matter was quickly settled.
In the Old Testament there are many examples of casting lots for determining a decision. We hear little of this method today. Most of us do not want to release the decision process to this seemingly "flippant" process; yet the Lord says, "The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord" (Prov. 16:33).
Flipping a coin is the equivalent to casting a lot. It removes our own opinions and leaves the final outcome to the Lord. Pray before you take such an action. It will surprise you who is willing to submit a decision to the Lord and who isn't. It removes the element of control from both parties.
I believe the Lord would first have us make decisions through agreement and continued prayer for the decision. However, there are times when this approach can be the quickest and simplest. It removes each person's temptation to lord it over the other. Cast the lot and settle the dispute. 

This is copyrighted work just asking opinions on!





Today God Is First (TGIF) devotional message, Copyright by Os Hillman, Marketplace Leaders.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

KISS Keep it simple Sweetheart




KEEP IT SIMPLE
A million books or organizing, 10 top tips on a simple life,  self-help groups, advice from everyone, and even  with the most ORGANIZIED DRAWERS AND CLOSETS A perfectly Organized to do list, keeping it simple is the hardest thing to do.
Life happens TO DISRUPT ALL THAT SIMPLICITY. A TORNADO, A DEATH, A FAMILY FIGHT, JOB LOSS ...whatever the devil can use to distract you …HE WILL!  Personally I need help to stay focused on God, A Relevant Church that loves and accepts me despite my slow growth  (feel free to visit TNC messages on line :  http://truenorthchurch.com/  , Christian friends who’s  wisdom I trust, prayer, the bible, time writing, and more I CANT DO IT ALONE!  And that’s not a limited list, I need more to grow but we each discover what we need to keep our own spiritual gas tank full.
I try a listen to the small quiet voice and there’s a traffic jam in my head. Family and work problems alone can keep most anybody CONSUMED to the point of distraction. They have kept me in addiction, depression, agoraphobia isolation and panic for years  and NO MORE.
 I’m being pulled in so many directions and feel torn…the right thing??? The loving thing??? The enabling thing????  I need my family too, and they are the ones I hurt the most by enabling them. Saying NO when your HEART wants to say YES makes me want to go throw up. (sorry… about the graphics but it hurts that much).  I’ve been doing it too long and it has never worked in making them see or do what they need to do for themselves. I wish more than anything I could prevent them from making the mistakes I did and do but they don’t hear me. So I love you….always and forever…that can’t change. Even if you don’t believe it.
So Simple, one bite of the mountain at a time. I’m goanna do the next thing on the list until the next tornado and then take God’s cover!

MAMA XO

Next thing on to do list: learn dance moves to STOMP...wanna try with me?



COMON IM REALLY TRYING ...LOL YOU WOULD DIE IF I HAD WEB CAM!



Monday, June 21, 2010

Max Lucado's You Can Be Everything God Wants You to Be

You Can Be Everything God Wants You To Be
By Max Lucado
A review by Karin Courtney Soderstrom at http://littlemebiggod.blogspot.com/
Max Lucado hits it on the “sweet spot” sharing the love and uniqueness God has for everyone.. He doesn’t leave a vague impression that everyone has one …but explains how to find your God given gift’s and talents and how to use them to glorify God. A reminder of Rick Warren’s “SHAPE”; this book should be a household reminder to encourage each other to be our best , encourage excellence in each other and ourselves and begin NOW ; for ages 1-100! Instilled with these principles we are all capable of CHANGING THE WORLD (his last chapter). This is also a great book for people “stuck” in their perception of a valley; after reading it writing a list of their God given talents and gifts might bring them back to the mountaintop!

I review for BookSneeze


Sunday, June 20, 2010

little me BIG GOD: Gonna be a flying Turtle!

little me BIG GOD: Gonna be a flying Turtle!